Why can't we just be friends?

I hate how relationships, with anyone, can go from simple to soo complicated in 0.66 seconds. It amazes me how one night can be the worst, and the next it's so easy. Why cant it just be easy all the time? No fights about who asked who first, or whose priorities or what. Who gives a damn? Were teenagers, and we arnt worried about any of that! I think our teenage species tends to think highly of themselves. All the time. And if its in our best desire to do something instead of something else, then we do it. No matter who we hurt, or let down, because its whats right for us. And we are our top priority.

another thing up for debate. Not really debate, but whatever. Haha. Why do songs interpurt our feelings so well? There is a taylor swift song for every heartbreak and mend, and then theres a rap song for every gang banger, and crack snorting sex addict. Whichever catagory you fall under, i dont want to know. Sometimes it feels as if songs portray feelings better than ourselves. Odd. Hm.

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Living Care-Free

     Latley ive been thinking about why we care what others think. Is it because we're scared, or maybe we're too insecure? I wish i didn't care. I'm trying not too. I think I care what other people think because if they don't like something that I do, and they tell me, it hurts. I don't like to hurt. Buuuuut anyways. I am going to stop living by other peoples rules, and be care free, (:

     Unicoorrrrnnnssss & gliiiiittttterrrr!!

     <33333

     I want to be Flo for halloween. How fun would that be? haha. But instead me and my sister Jenna are going to be Napoleon, and Jenna will be mexican Pedro :D woohoo!

     Question: When do you become too old for trick-or-treating? When you're 30 and have no kids, and wear a hot dog costume, and it makes you look like a pedophile? I think No. You're never too old. I'll probably still be trick-or-treating when i'm 30. I love Halloween. It's fun! and when candy is added to the mix, it makes it all the better.

     Guess what?! State fair is coming up! :D (http://www.wistatefair.com/10_web/index.html?mpch=sem) That means corn dogs, creepers, giant slides, music, and sweet corn. Does it get any better? <333 I love state fair. Except the Zipper ride. I HATE IT. I went on when i was 6 with my dad and cried, and screamed, and lost my shoe, andmy lolli pop. It was horrible. I will NEVER go on again. EVER.  D': -------------->

Summer 2010, :)

     My summer has been interesting so far. Theres been amazing nights, and dramatic bitches. Theres been break-up's and make-up's. I have made a lot of new friends, and lost some not-so-important ones. For me, it's been pretty much a win win summer. :) I'm so excited for highschool! New classes, poeple, and boys. :P

     So you're probably wondering who these dramatic bitches are, and who broke up!? Well. I shall telllll you. No worries.

Dramatic Bitches: We all have them. Those people who follow you like a lost puppy, and care WAY to much about you. They act like they're married to you, and its super creepy. So i decided to tell this person off. It went well. :)

Break-up: Hmm.. They suck. But things were to serious for me. I'm just glad we're friends, and enjoying life. :)

Make-up: Yes, it acctually happend! I got two of my old closest friends back into my life. (: Things are going great, and i'm glad they accept me for who I am.

     So there you go. All the retarded drama is gone, and I have a new group, and new memories. I'm happy, and i don't care who knows it. I'm not afraid to say it. :)

Nightmare.

I had an extremely scary nightmare not to long ago. Im paranoid of sleeping now. Yay! I'm super tired. Fuckk. This is going to be a short splurge. Not a blog. But ill blog tomorrow. When i can acctually function, because im hoping ill sleep tonight. :)

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It's not my fault this time it's yours.

I cant stand your extreme hypocracy. I cant stand the fact that you put down your own blood. I don't understand how you can make someone feel worthless, let alone tell them they are. I dont have time in my life to worry about insecurities that you planted in me. I dont see why you cant just accept me, for me. Stop trying to change me. Im never going to fit your goddamn mold, and im NOT sorry about that. I wasnt put on this Earth to fit anyones molds. Im here to be me, and i dont need your opinion and input. I hate when you say "i do it because i love you". You dont do it for that reason. You do it for your own benefit. You're so low that you need to put people down to feel better about yourself. That is just sad. You make me angrier than anyone could. You hurt me more than anyone could. When i'm gone, yes. Its your fault. If i dont send you a birthday card, or show up on christmas your
at fault. Your going to do that to yourself. Im not sorry, and i never will be.

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May 23rd, 2010.

Okay. This is how I feel today.
1.I hate people who copy me. It pisses me off.
2.I can't make everyone happy, it's not possible. It's excruciting, and i'm sick of trying.
3.I'm tired of fighting for something that seems to be another lost cause. Fuck that.

Okay, Now. This is how I feel about Hope, Dreams, and Love.
1.Hope. It gets nowhere.
2.Dreams. They make you want what you can't you have.
4.Love. Another word for a broken heart.

I don't get it. I don't get mean people who put pictures of you (me) in your (my) locker with your (my) throat slit. What the hell? Seriously? and I don't get theese retarded people who are trying to get into my problems and make drama for themselves because it makes them feel cool. It's just annoying, so stop.

On a happier note. I was sitting on my couch this morning watching Jersey Shore (<3) and writing. I made up the quote that I am going to LIVE BY today. What an accomplishment. I would share it with all of you, but there's people on this blog who like to COPY EVERTHING I DO! >.<

BREATH CORINE...
BREATH...


So. :) How was everyone's dayyyyyy?

The thoughts in my head right now.

It is extremely hot in my bedroom right now. I just thought i would share this. Anyways. Today was the first day in our pact to be happy and forget bitches. Score. :) haha. Its gone well. I played soccer. Called my bestfriend. And my boyfriend. Good day. Good day. I hope tomorrows good. The weekend is coming. :) i dont wanna get up tomorrow. What should i wear? I hate picking out clothes. Ughhhh. I wonder whats for lunch tomorrow? Cookies? Yes. Its 9:39. Damn alarm clock is still off.. I should fix that. Tomorrow. Why did caitlin poop in argentina? Weird.

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Helpless.

I hate having nightmares... They make me feel helpless, and i don't like it. I don't like when people are just mean. I don't get what i do, that makes people so angry at me. I try. And i think i'm done trying to be this person that people want me to be. They want me to be like them, and i can't do it. I need to be me, and my real friends will be there when i am me. And they accept me for me, well...some do. It just hurts, ya know? Hah.. Im talking to a blog.. Corine has officially gone insane. That's okay.. My heart kind of feels.. Empty. It's like blank, and doesn't know what else it can do. So it gave up.. I don't get it. And i know i've said that like 257690238 times, but it's so true. I guess i'm just done with trying to be society's definition of 'myself.' whatever..

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You've come a long way.

How do people sleep knowing that they are the cause of homeless people, the cause of deathes, the cause of a mother not being able to even say goodnight to her children? It makes me wonder if they would hate their child if they were gay, or who would take their own daughters rights away? I just dont understand it, i guess. How can people sit there and look someone dead in the eye and say "its fine.'' when it's clearly not fine. At all. I kind of hope those people get a strong wake-up call. The people who are judgemental twards everything that isn't their definition of 'cool', 'perfect', or 'normal'. The people who discriminate against other human beings. The people who have no faith in anything unless they get it their way. Even if it means killing innocent people that they know will fight for them. The people who don't judge a book by its cover, or content for that matter, and the
people who stand up for others even if they're standing alone deserve the fame, not you.

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She..

She hates racists. She hates spriders. She likes when people say they appriciate her. She hates thunderstorms at night. She likes blue air heads. She hates all other blue flavored candy. She likes blankets. She likes to laugh. She hates drama, shocker. She hates being alone. She likes the color green. She likes to slow dance. She hates too much axe. She likes sweet people. She hates jewish jokes. (so not funny.) she likes blogging. She hates cherry pie. She hates liquid medicine. She likes watermelon. She hates swimming in oceans. She likes the sun. She sneezes when she sees bright lights unexpectidly. She cant say canada correctly. She loves music. She likes killer whales. She wants to be a chef. She wishes to go to Italy someday. She likes being there for people. She hates sympathy, but longs for it. She hates being told what to do. She dislikes bees. She doesnt like doctors. She
likes the warm. She likes eyeliner. She likes converse. She likes hotdogs. She lovessss her braces :/.

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Best of intentions...

Hurt. It's something we all will feel, and inflict on someone else during our life. But sometimes you hurt someone without wanting to. Sometimes you just want the best for them and it ends up hurting them. You start out with best of intentions and it turns on you. And no matter how many times you say your sorry they just wont forgive you. They wont. And their hurt keeps growing larger, and so does yours. Its not a fun feeling, at all. You just want to sit there and cry. But you don't. You constantly try to make that person realize your sorry. Telling them you didnt mean to hurt them, and you deeply care about them and need them in your life. Heres my apology, again.

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I'm as good once as I ever was.

Things arnt what they used to be. Its kind of dissapointing, as well. I miss the days when everything was easy and fun. Where it was the little things that mattered the most and life was 'measured in smiles and sprinkles.' No one cared about how hot they looked or how many bras they could wear at once. Things were simple, and clear. I miss that the most i suppose..the simplicity. Dont get me wrong, i like life, i guess. Im just saying i wish sometimes it was...simpler. Less drama, and less overreaction. I wish things where clearer to. Simple. black and white. One or the other. No maybes, or in betweens. Just yes, or no. Its simple to say we want these things in our lives and when they get here we get scared. Scared of change. Well, im so ready.

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Who is she to tell one who to be?

She thought she knew who she was. Only to her dismay, she had no idea. She could not go and tell people about her life and about her without forgetting things. She couldnt tell anyone who she was, for that matter. She didnt know. She doesnt know. And shes trying. But its harder than it looks, or..sounds. She doesnt know where to go, how to start, or what to do anymore. She just wants to give up, and be done. Be done with everything. Be done with people who have no relavance to her life, and people who make life harder. People who bring negative un-needed events into her life. She quits. Game over. You win.

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The sands of time

As time goes by, slowly, i wonder. I wonder what i'll be like in five, or ten years. I wonder what all my 'friends' will be like. My parents, my sisters, and brothers. Will we be the same? I dont mean looks, or interests. I mean will we have the same character we have today. Will we only care about ourselves, or will we expand? Will we stop being jerks to everyone who is different in any way? Probably not, is my guess. The people who have to put others down to feel better piss me off. They are so concided, and self absorbed. I dont mean to say i havent ever put someone down for my own benefit, but i havent done it a lot. It makes me feel like a bad person. And i try my best to stand up for people, but some people just take it way to far. And then what? I dont know what to do after that point.. I cant just sit there and watch innocent people get teased because they're different. But on
the other hand i cant punch someone in the face either.

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Cats. Gods way of punishing us..

     So my dear friend Ashley told me to blog about my views on cats. Well the title should explain a little about how i feel about cats. I hate them. They're evil little death traps. I would like cats if i wasnt traumatized by them. when i was a wee little lady my neighbors cat ran inside my house and up my stairs so i went and i picked it up and it stuck its claw into my shoulder and it hurt like hell. i have scars. and cats dont like me because i had a cat when i was little and i used to throw it, yes-throw it. like a ball, down the stair case and watch it slam into the door. it was funny and cruel all in one.

See that cat up there?!? Yeah. Not pretty. I know, i know, its bald. but just imagine your cat looks like that without fur. be afraid. very afraid. it could snap anyyyyy minute and then your precious kitten of cuteness becomes a hairless monster who wants to eat your brain for dinner.

If anyone could make me a better person, you could.

  People couldn't more immature, honestly. It's quite simple, and when people go and try to make it complicated it pisses me off. It just makes you look pathetic, and rediculous. So stop trying to be cool when your not. Alright? Sorry for the anger. Back to the post....

Corine's poem;


“Give me therapy.” Give me someone. Give me your heart. Give me your mind. Give me your body, and your sole. I promise to take good care of it. Your heart will never be broken, and your sole will always stay alive. Your mind will find its natural peace.
I’m sick of being afraid to live my life. "These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just to real." I need him there to hold me together. To keep me in one piece. To stop things from happening. I’m scared, and I’m not going to lie about it. I’ll always admit it. But being scared is a part of life. If you’ve never been scared, then you’ve never tried anything different.

I’ve been wondering why I hold it all inside. Why I don’t say what I mean. Why I don’t tell people exactly what’s on my mind. I know people want me too, and I know they won’t let me fall. I’ve got to let them know that I want to tell them how I feel. But I can’t. It’s hard for me, I don’t know why. I am emotional, I just don’t show it. I feel it’s a sign of weakness if I do so. I’m not weak, I am strong. I’m confidant, not cocky. And I care, even if I don’t say so.

Love and Pain. What a thing to ponder.

     Pain, and love. They seem to come as a package deal, which is unfortunate. But doesn't pain make the love more enjoyable? Some would agree, some not. I wonder why people would disagree. Maybe because they're afraid of love, or pain? Hm. I think people are scared of being in love, so they don't let themselves be in love. Maybe because of the pain that occasionally follows. Is it really pain, or is it dissapointment in someone who shouldn't have dissapointed you. Then again, do we really know love? Is it love, or is it infatuation with someone? I, personally, do not know. One minute you think you love someone, and then the next you realize you don't. I guess it all takes time, but wouldn't one think that we'd find love eventually? What about the people who don't find love? Does that mean the rest of us who found 'love' are just infatuated? And if theres no love, doesn't this mean theres no real pain? Or if there is no pain, does that mean theres no love?
     As I sit here and ponder my brain for the answers, I can't think of them. But if I can't think of them, then who thinks of the answer? Is there an answer? The people who think they know the answer must be mistaken. There can't be a real answer to ones love, and pain. We all have different loves, and different pain. It's something we don't controll and it's not watched over. But do we bring it on ourselves may you ask. Aha. That's a good question.

forgetting, and letting go.

We all have those moments in our lives that we wish we could forget, but we just cant. Those moments, th-they stay with you everyday, and you think about them. You wish they would just leave you alone, and go away. Trust me, they wont. Its like that song that gets stuck in your head and you can't get it out. Just this time, its a memory, and it never leaves. It's as if its haunting you, and waiting for you to just give up. But you wont, and you cant. Dont let this memory take over.
'Arnt we great at holding onto the past?' It's so true. Its something that many people deal with, and for some it eats them up, and they never tell anyone. They're scared to tell anyone. They dont want people to know, and they never will want them to know. People say therepy helps, but what makes you think I want to go tell a stranger all the problems in my life? All these people just need a friend. A person to talk to. Someone they can tell anything to. Rare to find, but out there. I haven't found mine yet, and I don't think I will. Don't get me wrong, I have bestfriends who are there for me, they just won't understand. I'm sure i'm not the only one feeling that way at times, just some of us are afraid to admitt it. Coming to terms with ones feelings may be something quite difficult to do, but someday, somehow, it will happen.

1/21/10

If I learned anything today, it would have to be responsibility. Not only taking credit for your actions weather it's positive or negitive actions. People need to grow up, and own up. When you do something wrong-then own up to it! It doesn't always mean your getting blamed, but you need to take credit. Sometimes you do something without knowing what could potentally happen. some of us don't mean to do these things, but that doesn't make any difference. We should still take responsibility for our actions.

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